New Youth Policy

Ron Manager recaptures his youth

At Lough Moss, of a Monday night, oft is heard the aphorism - "The older I get, the better I used to be". Although, generally true, this statement is anachronistic in basis and therefore not something that could be applied to Culchie or Liam, for example. It might or indeed could be applicable to latest recruit Gary, hereinafter referred to as Gazza, who made an outstanding debut last week but was unable to equal his first week's performance after being dragged down to the grass roots level of the Ulidia Masters after just seven days. Scoring and dynamically making the play on week one was followed up by tripping over Hatchet McFlynn, Klinsmann style on week two - for younger readers, Jurgen Klinsmann was a Nazi bastard who attempted reparation when signing for Zionist outfit Spurs in the 90's. He had a proclivity for diving, Stuka style, in the opposition penalty area.

The game was a tight affair, six goals equally divided (that means 3 each Magic) one of which was a gift from aforementioned magician and one an outstanding volleyed own goal from yours truly to deny Cruncher from getting on the scoresheet again. Two similar headed goals from Kev and Ferryman were pick of the bunch.

Culchie will be missing for the month of November as he has joined a moustache growing homosexual commune in an attempt to drop a couple of stones. He assures me he will be keeping abreast (or two) of ongoing developments at Ulidia via the blog so here's a nod to you Culchie in your latest misadventure!

They thought it was all over - it is now

Exclamation Marks - WTF!!!!!!!!!

Yeshh!! It's all over the internet.

A tight game. 3-2  to the victors, but the real winners were Culchie and Ferryman who will achieve internet stardom beyond their Tinder profile pages. Playing on opposing sides, one can only assume that it was their intention to keep the score down. Perhaps they had a wager with Paddy Power that they wouldn't get on the scoresheet. Maybe they each felt sorry for the hapless goalkeepers who were nowhere to be seen in the gaping open goal. Whatever, we shall remember them. Eejits!

Incredibly, they both tried to justify their ineptitude........

Ferryman - "I didn't expect the pass from Cruncher". Perhaps he has a point.
Culchie - " I was dizzy from the collision with Noel" . Only one person coming off worse there and it's not Culchie.

Two nailed on certs for the "Misses of the Year" award to be presented at the annual night out in December. Up to 22 starters for that, the second team rounded off when Girly Bhoy confirmed he will be in attendance and that he too is looking for a new "Mrs for the Year". Get back on "Asian Brides" Girly!

The Pope of Ulidia

Hatchet McFlynn - the smiling assassin

Since Ron Manager has been on enforced leave of absence, I have been called on to select teams at the beginning of each game. I believe that this is something that should be done before players arrive and consequently allow us to get started marginally quicker. I will raise this at the AGM. Last night's game saw Magic get a late call up as Girly was painting his toe nails, but this was very much a like for like replacement and did not affect the outcome of the game. 

Team selection follows a strange code as Ulidia's chief hatchetman is a regular first choice. As an advocate of fair play, I am unable to condone this preposterous selection method especially last night when Axeman Power was on the same side as Hatchet McFlynn. Despite this sorry state of affairs, I am pleased to report that flair and skill were victorious. The losing team may have been cold, calculating and clever in their callous attempts to thwart genuinely attractive football but they were not so good at counting up to five which was the number of goals scored by the winning team.

Post match, I discovered that Hatchet McFlynn is departing these shores imminently on a pilgrimage to Rome where he will receive absolution for his past crimes and can thus begin again his personal crusade in ankle biting.

On a more jovial note, Fuzz is booking the Xmas Dinner this week. Looks like we will have around 20 starters (and 20 mains) so you will be required to front up with a deposit which will also be £20. Date is December 1st.

Christians 4 - 5 Lions

Kev (1)              Noel

Hatchet             Paul (2)

Axeman            Cruncher

Culchie (1)        Fuzz (2)

Ciaran (1)          Stevie

Lorenzo             Mark (1)

Willie                 Gaz

Magic                Jim

Feargal (1)        Texas

Winner Alright

Winner "Rasta Paul" ready to rumble!

England bowed under the pressure and at the final hurdle, so did the long time leader, Roisin Campbell. Gary is a relieved man and young Tom can't look his mum in the eyes again without reddening with the embarrassment of it. Still, 2 women in the top three (the other, defending champion, Marie Louise, and therefore my reason for embarrassment) proves something. I don't know what it is. I guess it's just, Je ne sais quoi!

The winner came with a late run. As the leader hit the final hurdle Rasta Paul galloped clear, getting every result right on the final day with one correct score. He was delighted when I phoned him last night, if not a little surprised, nay shocked, at my forwardness when I asked where he lived. I explained that there was no tax to pay on his winnings and he has promised to buy me a pint if I ever see him again!

Runner up, Roisin has been paid by Gary and had nothing to say that a wry smile couldn't. Consequently he got a wry smile, as did yours truly from Marie Louise. Most interesting of the prize winners responses, was Sara Deazley's dad who is putting his £50 behind the bar in the Parador when I get back from my holiday at the end of July. Ron Manager will have checked every entry by then and I will put up a final results table for all 100 starters if interest prevails.

Incidentally, a distant 100th was Colin Mitchell. I believe he may be an associate of Big Viv and therefore possibly a Leeds United supporter. I hope not. Colin, you scored a measly 18 points. Those psychic cats would have done better!

It's been a long two weeks for some and an interesting two weeks for us all. Thanks for taking part and staying on 'til the end of the ride. See you back here in 2022. I definitely won't be in Qatar!


On the Podium

1  Rasta Paul (48) £250
2  Roisin (47)  £150
3  Marie Louise (44)  £50
3  Sara Deazley's Dad (44)  £50
5  Dan Taggart (42)
6  Chris Mark (41) - Still and final top culchie bai!
7  Niall Cosgrove (40)
8  Sean Nolan (39)
8  Ronan Smyth (39)
8 Andrew Morrow (39)

Deutschland Unter Alles

Angela Merkel seals the deal

Germany go home after Angela Merkel swaps her soul for a holiday home in Seoul.
Roisin still leads the way on the last football day of the predictor but the rest are closing in.


League of Their Own


1  Roisin (43)
2  Rasta Paul (42)
3  Marie Louise (40)
4  Chris Mark (38) - Still top culchie bai!
5  Dan Taggart (37)
5  Sara Deazley's Dad (37)
5  Niall Cosgrove (37)
8  Sean Nolan (36)
8  Ronan Smyth (36)


They are piling up behind on scores of 35, 34, 33 and even those on 32 still in with a shout.


I will attempt to report back at greater length after the close of play today. If you're in the top three, I will be on the phone. Good luck!

It was God!

Maradona points to Heaven - where God lives!

So Messi credits God for helping the Argentines in their hapless defeat of a luckless Nigeria. Maradona must have realised as he too indicated that there was only "one way" that his fellow countrymen could put the Africans to the sword. If these players on the world stage can entreat the help of their celestial master, I suggest that some of our predictor players do it too, as Roisin is running away with the lead.






Pace Setters




1  Roisin (40)
2  Rasta Paul (38)
3  Marie Louise (37)
4  Dan Taggart (36)
5  Sara Deazley's Dad (35)
5  Sean Nolan (35)
7  Chris Mark (34) - Still top culchie bai!
7  Niall Cosgrove (34)
7  Dara Nolan (34)
7  Brenda (34)


While at the bottom, we have:


Bed Wetters


Archie (20)
Wee Fuzz (20)
Cruncher (19)
Colin Mitchell (16)




With 24 points to play for, Colin is the only person who can't win outright. Mathematically it is within reach of everybody else but I don't suspect that any of the bottom four will receive the golden envelope. Ron Manager will be selecting an appropriate stocking filler for the "Lanterne Rouge".

3 Days To Go

Who do you think you are kidding Snr. Hierro?

Some folk seem to have forgotten that yesterday's big match was in fact a derby. For centuries, Moors invaded Spain and the Spanish reciprocated by occupying parts of North Africa, and still do. It was Franco and his Army of Africa (Moroccan militia) who invaded Spain in 1936 and overthrew the elected Republican government. Seldom, are there rivalries as intense in world football and most of us witnessed this in colour with the BBC ignoring the history. The Moors played above themselves and the Spanish were a little complacent was the excuse. Well I say "Bollocks to that". This was a field of battle. There were more yellow cards than any other match to date and there could have been more. The score indicates a draw, but the real winners were the Moorish fighters to a man. Will we get another game like it? I would suggest not, unless we get Serbia v Croatia in a later stage.


The unexpected results were not predicted and consequently yesterday was a low scoring day. No changes at the top where it is quite congested.






Tip Top


1  Roisin (36)
2  Brenda (33)
2  Sara Deazley's Dad (33)
2  Marie Louise (33)
5  Rasta Paul (32)
5  Sean Nolan (32)
5  Dan Taggart (32)
5  Chris Mark (32) - Still top culchie bai!
8  Michael McGuigan (31)
8  Dara Nolan (31)






Will Argentina be on the plane home today? Dara is the only one who has Nigeria to win that game. I think he might be on to something.