Vintage People

We still prefer a night at Lough Moss to a night at the opera

At weddings, birthdays, christenings and barmitzvahs, men (and women) of a certain vintage cast away their inhibitions when the DJ cues the opening salvo of YMCA by the Village People. Who, of this generation (we can't include Culchie here) can honestly deny that they have flaunted their funky stuff at the behest of someone slightly less sober at the table where they have been idling away the hours with small talk and questions about who in the room you both know? Quite often, the call to arms by the motorcycle cop is a good excuse to move on but not until you have tripped over a selection of handbags, discarded coats and drunk uncles.


I only bring this up as last night we celebrated the ongoing maturation of our own "young men" as two of our number were inaugurated into the sexagenarian (nothing to do with sex) branch of Ulidia. Yes, Jolinho and Texas were awarded the long service medal and celebrated in style with a presentation pitchside from Ron Manager. Long gone are the halcyon days of Maysfield Leisure Centre when the same gentlemen played in different teams, but in the spirit of friendship and love, differences were set aside with the abandonment of the aforementioned venue and together they have forged a path for good. No doubt Jolinho will be practicing his famed stepover on the pitches of Belfast and beyond (Hamburg) for many years to come but don't ask him who won the Eurovision Song Contest. Texas will continue to be baffled by the mystery that is Girly Bhoy, his street fighting prowess and love for ladies with very low morals. I will continue to enjoy their company as of course will the rest of our extended football family. Congratulations lads!


Ron Manager did not divulge details of the evening's proceedings on the pitch but I can imagine! Girly Bhoy scored the winner in a thrilling end to end encounter leaving nothing on the pitch but his mark.


For those involved, please note that payment for the Armstrong Charity Formal on Saturday 26th November is now due. I will be sending round the street fighting team if you don't cough up. And everybody else www.justgiving.com/henryarmstrong

The Reign in Spain

Ron offers some tactical advice to Spain's number one fan, Manolo.

The summer recess is well and truly over. Girly Bhoy headed off to hookerland in seach of the elusive vine and Ron returned from the networking course in Valencia with some valuable contacts.

Your intrepid reporter has had to take enforced leave from the pitch for personal reasons but this has opened a space for the Ormeau Road's answer to Saul Goodman. A well-connected man with a colorful wardrobe and even more colorful sense of imagination (laser tag!), with a catch phrase that can't be beat - "If you want a new telly, better call Kelly!"

I have missed the craic and banter but hope that a podiatrist can get me back to where I belong;

1.  Before Girly Bhoy sells his wine empire and moves in with Ting Tong 22

2.  In time to see Cruncher score

3.  To see Deeno pass (wouldn't pass you a sandwich at a wake)

4.  To be reminded of the serenity of a Jolinho stepover

5.  To hear another rousing team talk from Ron Manager

6.  To suffer unbridled sectarian abuse from Lorenzo (and everybody else except Hendy maybe)

7.  To claim my goal of the season award

8.  To witness Magic display Gary Sprake like rationale in his time between the posts

9.  To see Culchie blast high and wide and call himself cultured?

10. To befriend Blind Willie and kick his stick

And a host of other reasons, but mostly involving sheep and beer and therefore not included here.

Don't forget Henry's justgiving page www.justgiving.com/henryarmstrong

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See you all soon.