Monday 30 March 2020

Death or Destiny

The unreasonable face of reason

How has it come to this? It's Monday, and for the third successive week, there is no Monday night game. The longest running regular football game in Belfast is, for the moment, consigned to history and largely due to the protestant (not the reformed religion but the noun applied to he who gives a fuck) complaints of the "Waterford Whisperer". He who doth protest when it is normal for him to be the subject of protest on a Monday evening, most often from Ron Manager. No longer are his dulcet tones regaling the Ulidia turf but he has been invited into our living rooms via the miracle of John Logie Baird. The Tower of Power is the voice of reason when it comes to imparting advice to the population of this remote administrative region of the UK (for now). I will no longer be able to take in that gazely countenance without looking down the length of a classroom metre rule and proffering the challenge, "En Garde".

We certainly are living in strange times and if Ultan is to be believed, this is just the start of an arduous path back to normality. BJ says it will get worse before it gets better, but if we follow the advice of our stalwart centre half wrecking ball, we might live to be kicked by the beast of Waterford one more time. Personally, I am looking forward to that evening.

As I left out the bins last Thursday night at 8 o'clock, I couldn't believe the tumultuous round of applause I got from the neighbours. It wasn't until I returned to the safety of my living room that John Logie Baird told me that the country was applauding Ultan and his sort. No, not big wankers from Waterford, but those that are putting their lives at risk...………….. well, you know the rest. How bizarre that we all now have to pay tribute to Ultan, but we do. Not for his contribution on a Monday night but for his contribution to getting us back to the pitch sooner rather than later. We all applaud you big man.
Thank you.