Return of the Girly Bhoy

Hi girls, I'm free and looking for love!

Almost two months into this reportage and the most common topic has been the sexploits of Girly Bhoy in his quest for the perfect Asian babe with realistic pubic hair. Not being a man to deny himself the opportunity for random rendezvous', Girly was keen to have it out there that he is now available for love 'n' stuff. His business is your pleasure and your pleasure is his pleasure (read that twice!). The reason for this state of stasis is that Girly (a Malone Road resident by the way) has now been without a regular female companion for more than a week and his vast inheritance is burning a hole in the lining of his Saville Row dexter. He wants you Ting Tong. So reach him via the comments section below and get down on it!


This enforced sexual retirement has allowed the left sided winger to wreak havoc on the park since he now has a surfeit of energy formerly wasted experimenting up to page 229 of the Kama Sutra. Thursday at the PEC was a revelation to all present. That normally child like first touch (so admired by the Philippine ladies) had gone, to be replaced by the mature first touch, (a particular affection of the ladies of Laos) demonstrated as he volleyed his team into an early lead with a left foot toe normally reserved for the Thai girls. Even his period between the posts was remarkable in that he almost managed to keep a clean sheet and clean sheets are not commonplace in the brothels frequented by Girly. My favourite is the tale of Ho Chi Minh Lil and her unfoldable linen.


It was true that there had been some late withdrawals from this match. A huge loss was Blind Willie who got lost in the car park and Gringo Niall who heard that Girly Bhoy was back. Professor Shirlow attended as he was required in Belfast to negotiate a new financial agreement between former combatants and Brian Kelly as he forges his first centenary commemorative coin (currently only legal tender on the Ormeau Road).


As we go to press the latest news suggests that Girly spent a restless night chasing a nineteen year old overseas student around the car park of the King's Head. The young scholar, a penniless refugee, had stolen Girly's kebab but Girly only wanted to give him the sour cream dip!


Men                     Bhoys


Sean                    Girly Bhoy
Noel                     Kev
Shirlow                Ron
Conor                  Trevor
Jason                   Marty
Gary                     Rory