Steady the Ship

A rare smile from Ron Manager



Injuries to Culchie (ingrowing charisma), and Girly Bhoy (tripped over his hard-on) saw the return of Lorenzo and John "Ron" Manager to the Monday night game. After last week's one sided epic, the pre match team talk encouraged the players to consider a less flamboyant approach - keep the ball and shove it up the jumper. Forget about scoring goals, park the bus, retain possession and catch them on the break. Ron Manager barked instructions to his team as he assumed the sweeper keeper role for which he is renowned on the Ormeau Road and, in the main, most players complied.


Unfortunately, complicity does not sit well with Ferryman who once again sprang the opposition's valiant defence to open the scoring early doors. However, the goals did not flow like they did last week and although there were further chances for the swashbuckling striker, he had to content himself with the single bulge in the onion bag! Indeed, there were chances for an equaliser with the Don, Texas and tragic Magic coming close but they could not unlock the double bolted defence well marshalled by Marty and Gaz who has reconstructed himself as a defender. In the post match interview, he intimated that he is hoping to challenge for the central spot vacated by Willie and his wee brother when he plies them with jagermeister before the Hamburg international.


As the game idled toward a 1-0 conclusion, it fell to Fuzz to light up the proceedings with a subtle display of genuinely nimble footwork, before hammering the ball home past the onrushing keeper. The fact that Lough Moss had decided to switch off half of the floodlights may have given him a slight advantage. Then, at the final whistle, the arena was plunged into total darkness. Hands fumbled for keys and wallets while Conor played on, looking for that elusive goal that would get him on the scoreboard, where he belongs. Who can forget the string of goals that the big hitman has notched up down the years? Well, not Conor anyway! If he did manage to score, it wasn't a goal.

Gaz acts surprised at his MOTM award



A Skype link to Girly Bhoy in a brothel in Lanzarote demonstrated that he hadn't, in fact, tripped over his dangling appendage although his companion, a young Asian transvestite, did look somewhat perturbed at the suggestion.




THE TEAMS (Goals in brackets)


Winners                              Runners-Up


Ferryman (1)                        Ciaran
Joe                                       Tom
Fuzz (1)                                Conor
Jim                                       Deeno
Gary                                     Altan
Lorenzo                                Magic
Geno                                    Sean
Marty                                    John
Noel                                      Kevin